Online Degrees

Online College Degrees are more popular than ever.  I think a lot of that has to do with convenience.  More and more working adults are seeking degrees and can’t attend tradition colleges and universities full time.  I wouldn’t trade my traditional/quintessential university experience for anything; it was fantastic.  However I concede that it isn’t for everyone.  Due to the popularity of online degrees most colleges and universities have some online course offerings and online degrees including graduate degrees.  Sounds perfect right?  Well as with anything you purchase, buyer beware and do a lot of research before jumping into one of these online programs.

Why you ask?  Well frankly many of these schools don’t have the reputation of a traditional college.  In fact many are viewed as, and rightly so degree mills offering worthless degrees to anyone willing to fork over the cash.  The cost of the online programs can be just as expensive as traditional college and that is why doing your research is an absolute necessity.  In my opinion choosing an online program offered by a traditional college or university is the way to go.  They will be accredited and recognized and respected.  As someone who was a recruiter professionally I pay close attention to where a candidate received their education.  Again why you ask?  Because it makes a difference.  People who tell you that it doesn’t matter where you go to school either don’t know any better or frankly are lying to you.  Where you go to school makes all the difference in the world and it always has.  So if you are going to amass a large amount of debt that you most likely won’t be able to pay back, shouldn’t you be doing it at a reputable institution of higher learning?  The answer is yes you should.  

I could go on for days about the importance of higher education but you would get bored so I will keep it brief.  The moral of the story is that other people care where you got your degree and so should you.  Do lots of research about the school, their programs and accreditation.  And really put some time in researching whether this is a degree that will be marketable.  I have a degree in Political Science, also known as a degree in unemployment.

Margarita Challenge

Reduced calorie or “Skinny Margaritas” are very popular right now.  Understandably so; margaritas are delicious but can easily consume your daily calorie allotment.  The movement to reduce the guilt associated with this delicious beverage has benefited many people, me included.  I decided in the name of science to do some extensive research.  Over the course of a few weeks (or a couple of nights) I compared 2 “Skinny” margaritas; Skinny Girl Margaritas and Jose Cuervo Light Margaritas.

First let’s discuss the “Skinny Girl Margarita”.  The claim is that this product is all natural and the ingredients are listed as blue agave tequila, natural flavors and caramel color.  To prepare this beverage I simply filled a glass with ice and then poured in the skinny margarita.  The first taste was crisp, clean, and refreshing to the palate.  I felt that it could use something more so I added a lime wedge.  Now, it is perfect.  This drink really tastes like it is simply fresh lime juice and tequila.  It is not too sweet or too strong, it’s very good.

Now let’s talk about Jose Cuervo.  First you will notice the difference in color; Jose’s Light Margarita is very yellow, like the color of Mountain Dew.  The ingredients are listed as Jose Cuervo Gold tequila, triple sec liqueur, natural flavor, sucralose, and artificial color.  This beverage also recommends simply pour over ice and enjoy.  Well pour over ice I did, enjoy I did not.  It’s incredibly sweet and almost syrupy.  I tried adding more tequila to try and break up the sweetness but it didn’t help.  I also added a fresh lime but I am afraid no amount of citric acid could cut through this syrup.  Finally I actually tried watering it down to no avail.  The sucralose is absolutely overwhelming and frankly this beverage could not be salvaged, it really is awful.  And to add insult to injury it was more expensive than the Skinny Girl Margarita.

My recommendation is to stick with Skinny Girl.  Bethenny Frankel did it right with this drink and that is exactly why it is so popular. 

Panty Pants

I’ve said this before and I will say it again, I am short.   I am 5’2” which means I almost always have to have my pants/jeans hemmed.  I have come to accept this fate and I generally don’t take issue with it.  What I do have an issue with are short “length” pants.  Sounds like a great idea right?  Pants already short so that you won’t need to go out and get everything hemmed before you wear them.  Well there is a gigantic problem with short length pants.  Instead of simply shortening the inseam, clothing manufacturers shorten the rise as well when making short length pants.  This means that any time I am in the market for short length pants I also better want them low rise.  I do not like low rise pants, especially on me.  I don’t want to be tugging at them all day or showing my parts to people every time I sit down.  I also do not have the butt for low rise meaning that I have a butt.  Why can’t the pant be shorter and the rise stay the same?  I do not know the answer to this perplexing question but the only solution then is to buy regular length pants so that the rise is normal because I do not want my business showing all over town.  Is this some sort of tailoring/alterations conspiracy?  Probably not; it’s most likely stupidity on the part of the manufacturer.  Below are some pictures I found of low-rise in the extreme. 

I like to call this picture WTF?  Sadly these jeans are offered on more than one site, just Google it and see! (For more enjoyment Google Men’s Ultra Low Rise Jeans)

Bad Cell Phone Usage Behavior Correction

I love Target don’t you?  I think they have the cutest stuff there.  This is not about Target however.  This is about super rude, ill mannered, oblivious people all over this Earth.  There I was in line at the checkout patiently waiting my turn.  The stupid lady in front of me starts talking on her phone while she is being rung up.  She begins to write down a message while I am waiting for her to pay.  At this point you are holding up the line, being selfish and what tiny little shred of patience I did have is gone.  She begins to relay the information back to whomever is on the phone.  I practiced restraint and didn’t yell at her which I normally would do in these types of situations.  I did give her a Vladimir Putin-esque icy stare and there may have been assertive foot tapping targeted at her.  Finally and quite remarkably she puts down the phone and swipes her stupid card so that the rest of us can get on with our lives.  Please let me know why you are so much more important than everyone else in this line because from where I stand you just look like another selfish drone.

I have said this before and I will continue to say it; talking on the phone is not always okay.  It is NOT okay while driving, while waiting in line and holding up the line, while working out, while walking and interfering with other people trying to get around your self important ass, not okay at dinner, in theaters, churches, classrooms and other incredibly obvious situations.  If you can’t bring yourself to yell at someone when they are acting like a moronic tool, try listening to their conversation.  Listen good and hard, maybe even talk to the person on the phone while they are on the phone about what they are saying. Act like you are part of the conversation; make them think you are crazy.  Sort of an eye for an eye approach to behavior correction.  I am positive they will find this annoying and maybe, just maybe they will learn a valuable lesson.  Most likely not but no complaining if you don’t try.

In Need Of Some Servicing

I think generally speaking that customer service is almost nonexistent.  I worked as a server in college, there were two stints as a barista and I also worked in retail.  I understand what good service means and I really appreciate it when I get it.  Last night at dinner the service was terrible and the food wasn't much better.  I had to ask the hostess to refill our drinks because our waitress was nowhere to be found.  My food was swimming in oil and I couldn't eat it.  The waitress did not deliver the food to our table and not once did she come to the table after the food was delivered to ask how everything was.  Once again I had to ask the hostess to get the waitress.  I told her that the food was terrible and so was her service.  And she replied "well I did bring you an ice tea".  Is that the extent of your function in this position?  I don't know what has happened to customer service or why people don't care anymore.  I had knee surgery recently and I went to a clothing store while still wearing an awesome knee brace (the one that goes from hip to ankle) and using crutches.  I asked for the handicap dressing room and the sales "associate" informed they didn't have one.  I left without buying anything and called the district manager because I know by law that stores must have handicap dressing rooms.  She was just as worthless as the sales "associate".  I went back to the store the next day and discovered the handicap dressing room is used for storage!  I have never gone back.  To be honest I am too old for their crappy poorly made clothes anyway but they are cheap.  Oh, the store is Forever 21 FYI.

Stupidlicious

Why must everything end with “licious”? I am very tired of this. I understand that delicious is a word and I enjoy delicious things such as food and drinks; the occasional book or article could be called juicy and delicious. However why must we combine words and call things juicylicious, or fabulicious? Stylicious, beautylicious, bootylicious, blah blah blah. We get it, let’s move on already. I am worried that we are creating a generation of English speakers who can’t speak English or even hand write it let alone use a dictionary instead of spell check. We are bombarded with these fake words from every direction. With media consumable 24 hours a day and in a million different forms there is simply no way to isolate yourself from the epidemic. Does no one take pride in speaking well and sounding professional and/or educated? Is speaking well a lost art like penmanship? Does anyone in America know how to write in cursive? With the death of penmanship so dies our appreciation of a handwritten note or thank you card. I contend that a Thank You written in your own hand carries more value now than it ever did before and simply because nobody hand writes Thank You cards anymore. Christmas/Holiday cards have a signature inside and a folded up typed piece of paper letting the recipient know how much they have been thought of over the course of the year. Really? You care so much that I too received a copy of the form letter you sent to everyone else on your list? Sometimes you aren’t even lucky enough to get a real signature in the card, just a printed name. I think we should have THE QUICK BROWN FOX JUMPS OVER THE LAZY DOG day where we are all required to write this over and over again in cursive lest we forget how to do so.
Below are pictures of beautiful handwriting. I wish it were mine but sadly it is not. Notice that one of the pictures is a note that begins dear friend. Tell me when is the last time you received a note from a friend that was handwritten and not an email? Also notice none of the letters contain words ending in “licious”.

Cupcake Conspiracy!

Fancy cupcakes are extremely popular right now.  There are entire stores dedicated to producing only cupcakes and many have become wildly popular and successful. They offer cupcakes in every color and flavor. If you were to ask me what my favorite food is I would tell you dessert.  I love sweets and I consider myself a connoisseur of desserts.  As with all food I am very particular about dessert and my appreciation of the cupcake is no different.

Now let’s get to the crux of the discussion shall we?  I obviously have not sampled all the cupcakes in the world nor have I gone to all the fancy cupcake stores in the world and tried all their offerings.  However, of all the fancy cupcakes I have tasted I have yet to have one that tasted better than one I make at home and I think I know the reason why.  Fancy/gourmet cupcake makers focus on the frosting.  Usually the frosting is sky high and comes in a million different flavors.  It is applied to the little cake ever so delicately to increase its visual appeal.  The quality of the cake in my opinion suffers.  They are these mass produced dry little cakes with no moisture maybe even made the day or night before then frosted in the morning.  All the attention goes into making the frosting flavors and I assume that cupcake makers think that the massive frosting application will distract the consumer from the inferior cake quality that tastes more like a cotton ball than a dessert.

Well I will not be fooled by this frosting conspiracy!  Why you might ask?  Well I hate frosting!  I scrape it off cupcakes, cakes, cookies, etc.  Anything that might have frosting on it, I scrape it off before I eat it.  When I make cupcakes at home, I leave some unfrosted for me to enjoy to save myself the trouble of having to remove the frosting later on.  Once the frosting is removed the true caliber of a baker is revealed and there is no hiding from quality cover ups.  Scrape off that frosting and inspect the cake; is it over cooked?  Does it look moist or is it dry?  Does the cake crumble and when you take a bite do you feel the need to drink water while it is still in your mouth so that you can swallow?  If you answered yes to any of these questions you have just eaten an inferior crappy cake disguised as gourmet by fancy frosting.

Consumers of the world unite against the dry cake and take a stand!  If you get a dry cake return it and maybe write a Yelp review about it.  We must demand higher moisture to cake ratio!